It's Finally Here

Hello there.

I was just working on this here website. I started working on it around May 21, 2022, and now, after about a year and a half, it is finally publicized.

A year and a half? You used Wix and barely had to code anything!

I know, it's a long time, and I owe everyone an explanation. At least, I owe one to those who kept asking me when that website I mentioned so long ago was going to be publicized. (I'm not popular, it was mostly my grandma and my friends asking.)

My teachers used to say, and my friends do say, that I am too harsh on myself.

When I was in high school, I often wouldn't turn my assignments in on the due date - even if it was technically completed - if I wasn't entirely satisfied with it. Even if I probably would've gotten an A on the assignment, I would've rather taken the F for not turning it in if I wasn't personally proud of it. It's a problem.

One time during my English 12 class, I gave a presentation that I thought was horrendous, only to be complimented by four students and a teacher helper at the end of class. (That sounds like something out of r/thathappened, but you'll just have to trust me. And yes, everyone did clap when I was done.)

Similar to my school assignments is my website. This took so long because I wanted the website to be 'perfect', or at least A+ quality, before I publicized it. I was never one hundred percent satisfied with it, so I never made it available to everyone.

It was around the time I nearly had an anxiety attack because I couldn't decide which font and font size to make the text in my blog posts (and I'm still not sure, please help me) that I figured I needed to take off the perfectionist cap because it was doing more harm than good. So, I reluctantly made the website available to everyone before I was one hundred percent satisfied with it. If I had waited until I achieved that level of satisfaction with the site, it would have taken years to come out, if it ever did.

While I do not regret the year and a half I spent working on the site - because my earlier versions were especially atrocious, as evident by the 'site evolution' highlights on my personal Instagram - it is time I make it available to everyone, even if some things are still incomplete. Even if the buttons on the Projects page don't lead to anything. Even if I didn't get a chance to rewrite the About section. Even if I don't have language translations yet. Even if I still haven't decided what goddamn font size to make my blog posts.

Oh, and another reason it took so long is because I have clinical depression.

Also, I got a banana Squishmallow. That's completely irrelevant, I just felt like I should share.